Chicago Cubs blogger Bullpen Brian says he’s surprised at the attention he’s received this week over a photo taken of him during baseball’s GM meetings at the O’Hare Hilton.
The recent photos revealed Brian’s skin color, particularly the face, much paler than his normal caramel tone. His physical resemblance to that of a Silverback Gorilla didn’t go unnoticed, either.
Speculation first arose from Cubs Nation that Brian completed several cycles of performance enhancing drugs this past summer, thus explaining his abnormally large muscle mass.
Additionally, his affection for bananas and walking on all fours has also fueled the debate.
Supporters of Brian, and of those typically found in the Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds corner, speculate Brian’s physical development is attributed directly to hard work and dedication…not HGH or other performance enhancers allegedly used by ballplayers such as Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds.
“I’ve done nothing more than undergo a muscle rejuvenation process,” Brian said.
As speculation ran rampant, Milton Bradley’s mother was quick to Brian’s defense. “This boy spends countless hours under the hot sun at Wrigley Field covering your Cubs and all he gets in return is a bunch Hater-Aid. It just isn’t right,” she said.
“So he’s lightened his skin a bit and has a super-human body, big deal…it’s not like he’s trying to be Sammy Sosa.”